Let’s Talk

Charlie Gilkey recently asked me for a guest post on the importance of conversation in my work for his excellent blog Productive Flourishing. It was quite an honor as I was joining the ranks of Seth Godin and Pamela Slim – ah the sweet smell of reflected glory.

In the post I noted that good conversation makes good software and that my job as an Agile Coach is essentially to improve the quality and frequency of conversation on software teams.

As much as I love my iPhone, iChat, Facebook and Email I’m continually amazed how often we look for some kind of tool to make communication easier. But, as Rich Sheridan (the inspirational CEO of Menlo Innovations) says “we prefer to use high speed, wireless voice communication” (I hope I got that quote right Rich).

The simplest highest bandwidth form of communication I know of is direct face-to-face verbal communication. It saves time and energy and potentially avoids costly miscommunication.

But why do we avoid it? Why do we seem to reflexively prefer technical solutions to a direct human one? I’ve often caught myself writing an email when phone call or face-to-face conversation would be more effective. And I know that on more than one occasion this has cost me. I’ve lost contracts because it’s easier to say “no” and more difficult to hear my concern and care for you over email. I suspect I’ve lost friends or important social connections for the same reason.

There’s a reason that courage is a core value of XP. It takes courage to make something of quality. And Courage means being willing to have difficult conversations. Whether it’s a coworker who doesn’t bathe often enough (this is something I’ve heard more than once privately from people who work in close quarters) or an unclear spec for a feature, being able to call out and have a difficult conversation face-to-face is an important skill for anyone who wants to advance his or her career.

As leaders in our organizations (and remember you can lead from any position) it is important for us to model the art of the constructive difficult conversation. Openness of communication isn’t always easy but it’s crucial if we are to work together and create great products.

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photo by: nyoin

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